Labor Day at 319

Oh its so hard to have been abandoned by my siblings. One moved to Germany, and the other...the other? All the way TO TONAWANDA. I'm all alone here and have not enough means to travel to those who have left. I feel like I am on survivor, but I have been voted indefinitely on the island while the others have run off to the mainland. But one magical day, a mysterious and powerful tornado scooped me and the boys up and took us to Aunt Hannah's. It was the first time I've seen her new home. It was nice. She's only lived there 3 years. And I had all summer off. And she's so poor she has to ride her bike to my house. It takes her 4 days. And she came to my house 60x this summer. But I finally made it out, the day before school started.

Anyways, our visit provided many anecdotal stories and chapters. Like the one where Evan sat in the living room peeling the sticker backings off Aunt Hannah's mosaic Pier 1 coasters. Or the time one of the boys smeared ketchup on Aunt Hannah's celery green suede coach. Or the time the boys enjoyed the crummiest cookies on earth all over Aunt Hannah's OCD clean floors. Oh the times.

Obviously not suited for those under 4 feet, her home provided inadequate entertainment. Punching Pandora and blasting her in the face with a water pistol is fun for only so long, you know. But alas, my young serpent, I mean, baby, always lets his vivid creativity pave the way for excessive fun. And this is what he found (and YES, the stone children in the fountain ARE facing backwards, because Aunt Hannah finds them creepy and doesn't like to look at their revolting faces):

He was soon joined by his older and more refined other half, gentleman Ben.

But somebody always has to take it to the next level...we call him Uncle Buck now.

"Lord please....are they gone yet??"